Monday, May 31, 2010


Thanks to my dearest Rebecca ANN... I finally started posting to my blog that she created for me for my Birthday. I have never been great a journaling and so I am excited to use our blog to document. Thanks Rebecca for thinking of us and encouraging me to start.

Sunday, May 30, 2010


This is a long posted and probably boring for most but I wanted to document our birth story. So here it is...On Friday, May 28th at 6:00am, Shane and I went into St. Luke's hospital to be induced. Well I was being induced and Shane was along for the ride or quite possibly because there is no way that I could have been there without him. Shane had been such a great support throughout our pregnancy. He would help me when I got sick (which was like twice... I was fortunate and healthy throughout my pregnancy), alter his activities to include my physical capabilities, and cooked pretty much the majority of my pregnancy as I had a limited appetite and low energy level. Anyway back to the BIRTH story. I was put on pitocin which was such a treat and away we went. Initially, I wanted to go "natural" or as natural as possible, which I wouldn't recommend with pitocin but I am sure there are some all-stars out there that have gone natural and were induced with pitocin. When I came in I was dilated to a four and after 8 1/2 hours the nurse checked me and I was dilated to a 5 which was super depressing. At this point I re-evaluated my game plan and decided to get an epidural. YEAH.. when that kicked in I felt soooo much better. Truthfully, I was terrified to get an epidural as I had entertained all of the possible flaws and horror stories of others and also factoring in the thought of having a huge needle inserted to my back area surrounding my spinal cord. I made Shane stand in front of me so that I could hold on to him while the epidural was being administered. Ironically, I thought that it would be a great experience for Shane to observe because his career goal is to be a nurse anesthetist but that was not the case, he wasn't able to observe because he was focused on comforting me. I started to relax when the epidural kicked in and there was a lull in my labor for a bit. After about an hour I started to progress nicely and worked my way to the point that I would be able to start pushing. Oh, a sidebar to this is that I am laboring in a room next to the O.R. because with the increased risk of multiples i had to deliver in the O.R. As I was getting geared up to start pushing an emergency c-section comes in and so they had to back off my pitocin to allot some time for this woman to deliver before I could access the O.R. So my momentum was ruined and I was scaled back to maintain while the O.R. was unavailable. At around 4-4:30 I started pushing again and progressed to the point that they transferred me to the O.R. A few hours later I delivered Greyson at 7:36pm and then a half hour later I delivered Bentley at 8:05pm. I had a hard time getting the "pushing" thing down but after much coaching I was able to figure it out. Shane kept telling me that I was pushing in my head and then I realized he was right, my head felt like it was going to explode. I had all this pressure in my head. The doctor scaled back my epidural while I was pushing to help me and by the time Greyson delivered it had worn off which helped. As I pushed with Bentley, i started to get really fatigued. Dr. Anstine and Shane encouraged me to continue to push as I was nearing the last few pushes. However, I was loosing my momentum and Dr. Anstine told me that she was going to have me push one more time and then try the vacuum. I definitely didn't want her to use the vacuum so that motivated me to get going. I was able to work through the pushing and deliver Bentley. After I delivered both Greyson and Bentley, Dr. Anstine placed them individually on my stomach so I could hold them briefly before they were cleaned. I couldn't believe the rush of emotions that came with the experience. It was beautiful... a spiritual rush. Shortly after delivering Bentley, I hemorrhaged. I knew that the doctor would massage my uterus after delivering and that it would hurt or at least that is what I had been told. However, I felt excruciating pain after delivering when Dr. Anstine was massaging and so I started to push her hands away and asked her to stop but she said that she couldn't stop and that I was bleeding aggressively. I continued to push her and other medical staff's hands away and then I heard her tell the nurse anesthetist to put me under and then she rattled off other doctors names that she request for help. I wasn't put completely under because they didn't intubate me. Whatever med's they put me on where intense. I told Shane, although I have never been on any mind altering drugs, I would imagine that is what it feels like. When I was coming to the room was spinning and it took me awhile to orient myself. I realized that I was still in the O.R. but the tempo had slowed down and then Dr. Anstine told me that I had a lot of bleeding but that I was okay. She tried to follow up with me again in the recovery room but I was too drugged to process. I could see everyone around me but I couldn't communicate with others. I stayed in the recovery room until 3:30am and then went to my room. I felt so bad for the nurses helping because the side affects of the med's I was on resulted in a laxative. So while I am trying to recover and coming in and out of delirium, I would feel the sensation of loosing bowel control which was so pleasant. Mostly it was humiliating and I felt so bad for the nurses helping but one of the nurses said, "don't worry, we did this to you." I thought um actually, my body did this to you (haha). I was so sad because I didn't get to see the babes initially but as I was in the recovery room, Shane made sure that I was alright and asked if he could be with the babies. I was so glad that he went up to spend time with the babies and share that precious time with them. The team of people, which was eleven,helping in the O.R. had Shane and the babies leave the room immediately when I had complications so the experience was traumatic for him as well. Shane returned to the recovery room in the middle of the night and shared with me exactly what had happened in the delivery room and then shared all of the babies measurements. I had only been told the weight of the babies before hemorrhaging. Again, I was so sad that I didn't get to see the babes but when I got into the room in the middle of the night they brought them to me and I tried to feed. I couldn't believe the flood of emotion that came with the experience. Nothing could top the feelings and emotions that coupled the experience. Shane and I have a family that includes children. WOW!!!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


Man, I think that i must be the luckiest person to have the opportunity to celebrate the birth of our twins with so many loving people. I work with the young women at church and a couple weeks before I had the twins, for mutual (Wednesday night activity for young woman/men at our church) the young woman that I work with threw me a surprise shower. They planned games and had cupcakes for dessert. However, what I loved the most was the present that they made for the babies. They made two quilts and surprised us with them at the shower. I love the young woman that I work with. They have taught me so much and constantly impress me with their knowledge and insight.